Ethel

At 1:00 am on November 2nd my grandma passed to the other side. It seems to be a consensus in my family that on Day of the Dead, when the veil was thin my grandfather slipped in and said "Ethel! Let's get the hell out of here! Christ! What's taking so long?" they had a laugh, and she went with him.

I don't feel terribly sad. I've felt sad for sometime, she was in poor health and in a lot of pain, I feel relief that she is done with that.

She had always seemed so powerful to me. When I was little I couldn't really wrap my head around how she could have possibly raised my father, or my aunts and uncles (truthfully I still cant, there are five of them, and they are big and opinionated). Not only that but her love and care for animals, her house was filled with dogs and cats, and there were horses and at times chickens and goats. None of these things seemed small to me. They are all big and strong, and had their own will, and she somehow managed them.

She was a painter and when we were at her house we would paint, or draw, or dance the hula because she also used to live in Hawaii and there was often slack key playing through the house.

Ethel on the right... THAT SMILE!

She taught me the joy of a fried egg (still one of my most loved thing) with a "Man on a Raft" (maybe you call it One Eyed Jack, or Egg in the Hole). Her apple tree was the best for climbing and for eating the apples and for the superior crisps it made. I knew where she kept her jewelry box and she let me play with her necklaces and bracelets and screw back earrings. I probably learned to swim in her backyard pool, I defiantly learned how to dive there (I remember it, there are few things that make you feel grown up like knowing how to dive). She wrote in short hand, and it was a thrilling mystery to look over her notes, part code, part hieroglyph, who knew what she was up to.
And more and more. All these little things, "insignificant" things are the things I keep thinking about. I feel really grateful for her, and to her, it's clear she absolutely shaped me, my ideas about being a woman, and my passion for dessert.

Until we meet again, I love YOU more.