The Cosmos Got Me Down

Or that is the only explanation I can come up with. Nothing happened, the sun is shining (well today is raining, but that is a great thing too), I had a great weekend that included dinner with and out of town pal, lunch with my ladies, lots of dog walks with my dude, two shows (one of which I made food for and was the launch of an amazing new venue), I got time in the garden and time in the kitchen.

I guess it helps to write it out, now I'm at least feeling grateful, if not cheery. It's frustrating though to do everything right and still feel blue. I know it's passing, and I'm ok with that, I'm just going through it right now... and I've got nothing else on my mind so I'm sharing it because it's ok if something (or nothing) has got you down. We'll see how next week feels.

Bread

I'm a bread baker, and a bread lover, and a food lover, and a food grower, and a cook. Good food/ good life is very important to me, that means all of it; from germination to plate. Like all parts of my life I want a relationship with it, the way we have relationships with our mothers, our god, our job, our craft. Like all relationships we need to nourish, care, have patience and practice to be successful. Developing these relationships is necessary and never ending. I do the best I can, try to be responsible and gentle, and I try not not be judgmental about others' relationships (though I'm not always successful). The other day an image of some delicious bread popped up in my instagram feed from bakerhands aka Tara Jensen a baker and farmer, the caption really resonated with me:

"I do not think we will see the end of this gluten free hysteria until fundamental economic inequality and spiritual impoverishment are addressed. The target may change, but collective hatred and refusal will endure till we each posses the ability for self determination and expression. We have such little control of our lives and we are so unhappy it makes sense that we find pleasure in refusal. But we can not refuse our history as a civilization without great consequence."

I understand people have serious food allergies, my step-mom does, and so does Tara. She goes on to say:
"I am not implying that individuals that are going gluten free are crazy. I AM saying that economic systems like capitalism paralyze our ability to live a spiritually/ politically/ meaningful life and because of this we are experiencing illness in our bodies. We have industrialized our food to the point where the nourishment is gone and that is showing up in how we feel physically and emotionally. As a feminist I believe no one should be told how they feel, or should feel, in their bodies and I do not use the word hysteria lightly. There is a massive problem around bad information and bread right now"

 
I don't want this space to be political, but I did want to share these insightful ideas. This is a topic I feel strongly about, and has quite a lot to do with who I am (right now) and want to be. Let's think about our relationships and take care of them. Have a beautiful week!

Work/ Play

I have been working on commissioned boards, and it feels so good! AND my goal for April is to get my website up again, as it has been sitting neglected for sometime. I have several beauties rough cut in a more traditional French bread board style, and this week I'm shaping and sanding. I find it both lovely and difficult to work in the amazing spring time weather. Lovely because I often work outside, and difficult because this is garden and and play weather... which has me thinking a lot about small picnic boards... we shall see what's in store for Spring. Get your vitamin D!

I've been SO busy

I think I could probably start every post with "I've been so busy" and I wouldn't be lying. I have two jobs and I have my own business that I am intent on making a living from (some day). I am also trying to have a garden this year, and there are always long term, slow moving projects around the house ( I made our dining table... now where the hell are some chairs?). I also need and/or want to get out of town pretty regularly. Last week Nick and I went to Santa Cruz, and I keep thinking about Pie Ranch. A few days ago we went snowshoeing with my mom! I also want to bake bread, and lounge around the house (I do it, but it is part of my scheduling!)

Spring always makes me feel a little stressed. As soon as i start seeing things bloom I start to worry about all the things I have to do in order to reap a harvest literally and figuratively. 

I am equal part a creature who needs to keep moving and one who needs to stay in bed all day.

Here's to keeping a balance, making time, and worrying less. Good Luck y'all!